Movie Night

Finally the day has arrived, it's movie night! You've been looking forward to this all week. You've looked in the paper, searched the Internet or taken the advice of a friend or co-worker and decided on what movie you want to see. You have made several calls to your friends or that someone special to arrange the date and time. Everything is set and tonight is the night.

You arrive at the movie theatre, you can't miss it as it is the large building surrounded by either a shopping mall or a collage of discount outlets and coffee shops. They are usually located in the center of the building or complex closest to the bus stop, bike racks and handicap parking. You find a parking space where you do not need to traverse past the food court and playground but rather enter one door and walk straight to the theatre. Unfortunately this is the overflow lot and although it has not rained in months the ground is a mixture of gravel and mud just deep enough to engulf a shoe up to the sock level.

You've traversed through the gravel and mud, walked a mile or two past the primer and bondo covered Nissan parked diagonally across three spaces. You've walked past the skate boarders and mall security. You've avoided being run over by an electric shopping cart. You've scrapped off as much of the mud from your shoe as you can and are standing in line...the wrong line.

Now your at the ticket counter and purchasing your ticket. You know this is the right line as you hear those before you balking at the price of admission. You pay for your ticket and possibly those with you thinking the national average of 7 plus dollars isn't that bad and with ticket in hand you go to the concession stand for your drinks, popcorn, candy and other items "essential" to a good movie experience. You can't miss the concession counter as it would make the check-in counter at the Waldorf look like a fishing shanty. It literally goes from the front door to the restrooms and entrance to "the maze" that leads to the individual theatres. The counter is usually decorated with shoe prints from the many children trying to climb up to watch the vendor masterfully pour gallons of butter on their popcorn. This is the place where your money seems to evaporate into thin air, where taking out that second mortgage pays off.

With your 7 plus dollar tickets and 80 or so dollars worth of sodas, popcorn, milk duds and twizzlers in hand you head off to "the maze". I'm not sure if "the maze" is to keep foot traffic moving or to separate families from their children for recruitment into the Merchant Marines. In any event you quickly adjust to the non-logical numbering of theatres and find the one where your movie is playing. You go inside and begin to find your seats. This is the point in the story where the fun really begins.

As you walk towards your seats you have to struggle to keep your feet moving and not lose a shoe along the way. With every step your foot sticks to the floor. How carpet can be sticky is still a mystery to me, especially since your shoe is still wet and covered in mud from the parking lot! You choose your seats, not too close to the screen nor too far in the back. You sit down and wait for the lights to go down and the previews to begin. You wonder which of the types of people you'll encounter this time. Will it be the one who has to get up to go to the restroom 6 times during the film? The one with children who turn around to show you the jelly bean stuck in their nose? Could it be the person who has seen the film before and decides it is their job to say every line out loud for you? Will it be the one who can't go a minute without talking on their cell phone, or the person who leaves it on but doesn't answer it letting it ring the entire time? Or could it be a tall person wearing a hat who out of a whole empty row sits right in front of you? The lights dim, the previews begin and now, now your wait is over...

I can't remember what the movie was about or even who was in it but for 87 plus dollars I can tell you all about the nice tall couple from Brazil and their three children. I can tell you about the lovely hat she wore, that his ring tone was the theme from Rocky. I couldn't see the screen but thanks to him I knew every line or event that was about to happen. Their eldest son's ring tone was a U2 song and apparently his girlfriend missed him so much. I knew she did and every ten minutes I got a reminder as she called once more. I could tell you their little girl was very talented and could get two milk duds in each nostril but couldn't hold more than 4 and a half ounces in her bladder. Their youngest, aah the sweetest little child, actually very quiet, sleeping most of the time. That is she slept quietly until she was awakened by her mother to be breast fed!

Yes, there's nothing quite like movie night.