My grandson is four years old - he will be five in April. If you know me personally, you already know who I'm talking about and, unfortunately, there's no way for me to keep his identity "anonymous"....LOL. If you don't know me personally, we will just call him "J" for purposes of this post.
Due to the work schedules of J's parents (my son and daughter-in-law), from the time J was born, he has spent a fair share of his time with either me or my sister. Typically, my sister and I would alternate weekends to keep him with us. There were some weekends that neither my sister or I kept him and he was at home with one (or both) of his parents - it just depended on what the work schedules of his parents turned out to be.
J has always loved spending time with family members and he particularly LOVES it when we can manage to get everyone (his parents, me, my sister and her husband, and my other sister and her daughter) together at once. We were managing to bring everyone together quite regularly, but then we had a change in circumstances.
My sister and I are both paralegals (different law firms, however). Her work schedule had become such that she almost literally spent all of her waking time at work. Her work became such that she could no longer keep J on alternating weekends, or any weekend for that matter, and rarely could schedule time to attend a family get-together (unless a major holiday). My sister was buried with work and was pushing herself to near breaking.
As this was going on, J was having problems at pre-school. He got expelled from one pre-school and was transferred to another. I won't even begin to address my thoughts on the inadequacy of the school systems/teachers here locally, except to briefly note that no one really sought to help him - their method of dealing with J was to simply call one of his parents at work and tell them to come pick J up. No one really wanted to take the time to try to figure out what might be troubling him.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you he's an angel all the time.....he isn't. And I'm not going to tell you he always listens the first time you tell him something....he doesn't always. But he does have a unique little personality...he's a typical four year old. And, like most four year olds, he requires patience, understanding.....a little EFFORT - things that, I believe, a lot of our current educational facilities lack.
As the number of weekends that my sister could keep J dwindled, my weekends with J also became sporadic as well. His parents' schedules seemed to work themselves out so that one or the other of them could be with J while the other was at work. I still kept J sometimes, but it wasn't nearly as regular as when my sister and I were alternating weekends.
Anyway, about five months ago, my sister quit her job to take a much needed sabbatical from working. She and her husband are fortunate enough that she could afford to take some time off. During her sabbatical she began having J with her some weekends and our family resumed being able to get together fairly regularly for dinner. It was during this time that J began to do better at school.
It appears that, at least somewhat, J does better all the way around when he is connected to the family and when he gets to occasionally spend time with ALL of us together. As I told my son (J's father), the love from the family members is like a blanket around J. I know J can feel our love - it emanates from each of us. Our love comforts him and makes him feel safe. I think this is what is meant by, "It takes a village to raise a child."
Speaking only for myself, I cannot adequately put into words the love and fondness I feel for my grandson. It is a love like NO other! I realize that it seems people say that pretty often, but to actually be the person who FEELS that love for a grandchild, it is an amazing experience. When I am with J, I find myself constantly staring at him, hoping that I don't miss a single word he has to say or a single expression on his face. I attempt to freeze these moments in my mind and I replay them so as to hold onto these memories. When I surprise him by showing up at one of his sporting events or at his house when he is not expecting me and to see his face go from surprise to pleasure, to hear him say, "MIMI !!!!" and run toward me to give me a hug - - there are simply no adequate words to express my delight at knowing that he loves me too.
