My Rebuttal to Choices, Chances & Free Will....LOL

I would first like to say that I understand free will and I believe that we all have it. I am a Christian and while I believe that ALL things happen for a reason, I believe we have our part in either making what was supposed to happen happen, or making it not happen. That's probably about the only thing I agree with in that post though - the free will.....lol. LS1 expects this though....I had already warned that I would be posting about it.

In the example about relationships, it gives a scenario of having choices - making one and it not leading to the relationship you wanted and stating that if another choice would have been made it VERY LIKELY would have led to the relationship. I disagree. I think there are times that ANY choice - ANY path - taken would have ended with no relationship at all - especially if the person you are interested in is NOT interested in you! It wouldn't matter what choice you made - they aren't interested, they aren't going to be, you aren't going to "talk" them into it, or trick them into it - - it very likely may never happen at all - because THEIR free will has prevented it from ever happening.

As far as things being "meant to be" I believe in that and here's why. When people describe things that are "meant to be" they are usually describing in terms of things that make them happy. I believe that people are supposed to be happy - people aren't supposed to be miserable. We all strive to be happy - we don't strive to be miserable. So, when something good happens it is "meant to be." There are those instances when things happen, though, that we feel were "meant to be" that don't work out for us - those are the hardest to accept, but I feel that these situations lead us to what we are meant to have (even though it may hurt a lot) - these situations lead us to other things.....something happy.....or happier.....something better.

I believe that most of us possess the ability to think things through. I believe, though, that at times we stubbornly and steadfastly choose a path that we know isn't exactly "right" - hoping that we will force something to be that wasn't really meant to be. Our vision isn't always clear as we go through situations and it is much easier in hindsight to say, "I should have...." or "If I had...." - when really if we had done anything differently it very well eventually could have turned out the same even if the primary result was favorable.

Even if you were granted something that wasn't meant to be, it would not last. In relationships, for example, the other person's lack of interest, or lack of participation, or lack of love at your level would eventually destroy the relationship. You can't force someone to be interested in you (and I KNOW all about this one). They have free will too. Our situations don't simply revolve around our choices, but choices made by others as well.

All we can do is move forward if we hit bumps in the road and encounter situations that weren't "meant to be" - continue to make choices that lead to your happiness.

Nocturnal Nemesis

I must apologize for not having posted in awhile. I have not been myself, I have not been well. I have it turns out been afflicted with sleep these past few weeks. It started slowly at first, an extra minute here a half hour there and before I knew it I was close to sleeping a full 8 hours. 8 hours I tell you! Of all the terrible things that could have possibly happened why was I struck down with this...with sleep?

It's Mine, all mine! Muahahahaha!!

Choices, Chances and Free will

I should be doing homework right now but instead I feel I must write this. Life is 100% based on chance. We have free will, everything we do is a choice. Results are products of the choices we make. Now, when presented with a choice there is a chance that we will or will not make that choice. What does this mean? It means that our lives are completely governed by chance. That's right; percentages determine our entire lives and the paths that we take.

Lets take relationships for example here. There is a person your interested in. You act upon this in the way you feel is the right way to act; this is a choice your making. There is a chance that the choice you just made can cause the relationship to not work out, or even never happen, because the choice you made is not the one to lead you to that relationship. It is VERY likely that if you have made a different choice or action towards the situation you could have ended up with that person... but since you made the choice that you did, it never will. This means that you HAD a path that you could have went down in your life and who knows where it could have led (marriage, friendship, death, hatred, love) and now you will never, ever go down that path. Your entire life will now take a different path. And this path was CHOSEN by you based on a chance. 

Now, many people try to comfort themselves with thoughts such as "well, it wasn't meant to be". This is an absolute excuse. People tell themselves this to feel better about the decision they made.. because the fact is that they simply didn't play their cards right and failed, if they would have played their cards differently they could have achieved everything perfectly and would have went down that path living a happy and healthy life with that... but they played their best guess hand and it wasn't the right way of going about it... chance didn't work out in their favor and now they lost any shot with that person. So they are forced to move on and find another person.. play there hand again with the risk of making the wrong decision. And when they finally do find the "right" person and everything works out they lie to themselves and say "it was meant to be".. but yet again this simply means that they finally played their cards right with someone and chances worked out in their favor, because if they would have made a different choice (played their cards differently) they would have blown it with that person JUST like alllll the others, there is no difference.. they just got lucky. It's all luck, chance, that's all it is.

Well, I don't know about you guys but I feel completely helpless and blind in a world where everything we do is based on a chance that we make the right choice and the paths we take are totally random. You cannot deny the fact that this is a scary truth, there is no comfort in random probability. A lot of people will never let themselves believe that "destiny" is a human comfort buffer created to make everything seem like CandyLand. They refuse to accept the fact that our lives are completely in our own hands and we are not being led down some predetermined path. Where you are right now, everything you are doing, your current life status is what it is because the choices you made in life that were based on chance led you to your current position. 

Now before someone brings up Christianity into this, let me preemptively throw in that the Christian Bible teaches that Humans have free will. If we have free will then there is no such thing as predetermination. Sure, God may know which choice your going to make, but that doesn't make it the right choice at all.. it just means that he can watch you make your wrong choices before you actually make them. He may know how the chances are going to play out, but they are still chances.

Can you ever feel comfortable settling with a choice that works out favorably for you because you'll always know it was based on chance and that it could have been differently if you would have done something slightly different? Ask yourself that question.

Memorable Night

I spent last night watching something special - two brothers bonding. One of the brothers is my roommate - the other brother is a very, very close friend of mine. I think the world of both of them. These two brothers, while having some character similarities, are very different; each having unique assets to their personalities.

As the evening progressed, they began talking and reminiscing about their childhood, telling stories about events that happened as they were growing up. I enjoyed listening to their stories - surprised and amused by some of what I heard. (Boys will be boys, though, as the saying goes.) As they talked, we laughed at some of the stories. There was something going on, though, that was just as interesting as the stories - I watched two brothers bond. Brothers that grew up in a normal home (relatively speaking....lol), with two parents that loved all of their children and sacrificed for the sake of their family. I saw the respect that they have for each other and the respect that they had for their parents, as they spoke about how having five children might not have been the easiest of situations.

It was touching and I thought about it for quite some time after the evening ended. As they spoke, I remember thinking, "I wish I had known them growing up too." Maybe it touched me more than it would have others - maybe because my relationships with my two sisters are not close relationships. It was a special night for me and one that I will remember for quite some time.

They have both been of help to me, in different ways, during what has been a very trying time in my life and I am very grateful to know them both and have them in my life.