Have you ever asked someone, "How are you?" or "How have you been?" or any other question in passing just to be nice? If you are like everyone else, the answer to that is obviously yes. But how many times have you actually stopped and waited for the answer or even REALLY been interested in what the answer would be? How many times do you yourself answer that question with, "Fine" when everything is really NOT fine because you don't have enough time to explain how everything is not fine and you wonder if the other person even cares what your response is going to be?
The next time you ask someone any of these "socially polite" questions, wait for the answer, pay attention to the answer, and - last - don't ask unless you are truly interested. You asking someone how they are doesn't make you a better person for asking, it only makes you a better person if you pay attention to the answer - - and being actually interested in the answer is always a plus!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I Got My Dogs Back!
I know it's been a while since I've posted last! Things have been going along in a whirlwind pace!
The best piece of news to come out of this, though, is that I now have my two beagles back. My "babies" are home. It's a long story, but suffice to say that they wound up in a shelter (the idiot ex took them there), they were adopted (together), but the adoption didn't work out, my son was the one who found them (my hero), the adoptive "parent" contacted my son and told him it wasn't working out and that I could have them if I wanted them. IF I WANTED THEM??? It was never a matter of "if" - I just didn't think I'd be able to have them where I am currently staying. But my roommate is awesome (!) and he told me to go get them. So, they are now here with me - no one can take them, they are mine. I love them dearly. So, everyone, here is a picture of my Harley and my Rainey. Harley is on the right - Rainey is on the left.
Advice of the day:
If you ever get the opportunity to sit next to the person that you care about more than anyone else, and instead you think to yourself that it would be smarter to sit across from that person so that you can talk with them face to face, SMACK yourself in the head for thinking like an idiot and just sit NEXT to that person.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Office Etiquette
1. Use a cover sheet on ALL faxes…or…if that is too much work…at least write “ATTN: (Recipient’s Name)” somewhere on the fax…preferably the first page…I am not a psychic and neither is anyone else you send documents to…or at least it is unlikely.
2. Do not use e-mail as a method of sharing constructive feedback…it is too easily misconstrued and often important questions are not answered and pertinent details are lacking. For example...it has been observed that the desk is unattended so please spend more time there…who observed? For how long? On what day? At what time? What was I doing away from the desk? Should I discontinue the duty that took me away from my desk? Am I allowed to ever leave? Am I responsible when those assigned to cover for me don’t stay put? Will you be picking up all of your mailing, faxes, pleadings, filing, invoices, deliveries and supplies from now on? How would you like me to share this new interpretation with my co-workers who have other expectations? How much time away is too much? What errands are acceptable for me to complete? Who will refill my water when it’s empty?!
3. Do NOT berate your employee from your desk at the back of your office while he/she is sitting at his/her desk across the hall…EVERYONE in the office can hear how obnoxious you are being…this manner of communication makes not only the employee miserable but also causes undue suffering for those nearest to your office…additionally the level of unprofessionalism and disrespect this evidences is completely inappropriate in any environment, let alone a work one…you are entitled to your opinion as the boss, but your technique could seriously be improved…invite the employee in, shut the door, have a chat that only the two of you can hear!
4. If you are too busy to print a label...1 min 30 sec start to finish…you are too busy to chat with every person whose office you pass on your way back to your desk…too busy to search for celebrity photos on the internet…check your bank balances…pay your personal bills…engage in a discussion regarding best fashion deals/haircuts/power ball/last night’s dinner/weekend plans…internet shop…call your spouse...run to the kitchen every 30 minutes for a 15 minute break…gossip in the bathroom…steal food…go visit Muhammed downstairs…or file your nails.
5. If someone does your work for you…be polite…say thank you!
6. Your personal business is only personal if you talk about it privately…I can hear pretty much everything up and down the hall…I chime in partly as a courtesy to remind you that you have an audience.
7. We are equals…I don’t give a crap what your title is…therefore you can at least politely refuse to answer “why?” instead of telling me I shouldn’t question you…get off your high horse and learn to comport yourself appropriately in the work place.
8. Your personal life has no bearing on your work performance and your kids do not belong in our place of business…no matter how adorable they are…they don’t want to be here so please stop torturing them!
9. Smile, say hello, it is free and simple to be nice…this will make your work environment better.
2. Do not use e-mail as a method of sharing constructive feedback…it is too easily misconstrued and often important questions are not answered and pertinent details are lacking. For example...it has been observed that the desk is unattended so please spend more time there…who observed? For how long? On what day? At what time? What was I doing away from the desk? Should I discontinue the duty that took me away from my desk? Am I allowed to ever leave? Am I responsible when those assigned to cover for me don’t stay put? Will you be picking up all of your mailing, faxes, pleadings, filing, invoices, deliveries and supplies from now on? How would you like me to share this new interpretation with my co-workers who have other expectations? How much time away is too much? What errands are acceptable for me to complete? Who will refill my water when it’s empty?!
3. Do NOT berate your employee from your desk at the back of your office while he/she is sitting at his/her desk across the hall…EVERYONE in the office can hear how obnoxious you are being…this manner of communication makes not only the employee miserable but also causes undue suffering for those nearest to your office…additionally the level of unprofessionalism and disrespect this evidences is completely inappropriate in any environment, let alone a work one…you are entitled to your opinion as the boss, but your technique could seriously be improved…invite the employee in, shut the door, have a chat that only the two of you can hear!
4. If you are too busy to print a label...1 min 30 sec start to finish…you are too busy to chat with every person whose office you pass on your way back to your desk…too busy to search for celebrity photos on the internet…check your bank balances…pay your personal bills…engage in a discussion regarding best fashion deals/haircuts/power ball/last night’s dinner/weekend plans…internet shop…call your spouse...run to the kitchen every 30 minutes for a 15 minute break…gossip in the bathroom…steal food…go visit Muhammed downstairs…or file your nails.
5. If someone does your work for you…be polite…say thank you!
6. Your personal business is only personal if you talk about it privately…I can hear pretty much everything up and down the hall…I chime in partly as a courtesy to remind you that you have an audience.
7. We are equals…I don’t give a crap what your title is…therefore you can at least politely refuse to answer “why?” instead of telling me I shouldn’t question you…get off your high horse and learn to comport yourself appropriately in the work place.
8. Your personal life has no bearing on your work performance and your kids do not belong in our place of business…no matter how adorable they are…they don’t want to be here so please stop torturing them!
9. Smile, say hello, it is free and simple to be nice…this will make your work environment better.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Dream Catcher
We were on the couch, I was sitting at the end and she was laying down, her head opposite me on a pillow. We were watching TV relaxing after having a good lunch at a local BBQ restaurant (perhaps a future blog). We sat quietly talking about what we were watching. A few jokes, a few comments here and there about the weekend's events. In all just relaxing and enjoying each others company. We've known each other for many years and are quite comfortable with one another yet we still continue to learn about each other. Today's lesson was one of trust. Not the trust one normally thinks of as neither she nor I would ever hurt each other purposefully but rather one of protecting each other while most vulnerable. I'm speaking of guarding ones dreams. Let me explain...
I myself being an insomniac (as mentioned in a previous blog) sleep very little and have done so for longer than I can remember. In the days preceding this story though I have found myself getting tired more and sleeping longer hours. Within these extra hours of sleep I have reached the dream state, R.E.M. as some of you may know it. These dreams have not been of a pleasant sort and have left me uneasy when I wake. Feeling disorientated and shaken by these dreams I spoke to her. Who else would I turn to after all, but the one who at times knows me better than I know myself? I gave details to the best of my recollection as to the who, what, when and where of each dream as I remembered them.
She's a warm friendly loving person, someone very special, who always will and has been there giving her support. Supportive not only of me but of others also blessed enough to have become a part of her life. She listened to me as I spoke of events I could recollect of my dreams as each invaded my sleep. She listened, tried to help me make sense of them, but mostly she reassured me that they were in fact dreams. She would get me to laugh when I needed to or just listen and let me know she was there. During this process of listening and comforting she would speak of restless nights and the dreams that had interrupted her peaceful sleep. It is this exchange that brings me back to the reason of this blog.
As stated in the beginning we were on the couch watching TV and resting after a good meal. She was starting to drift off into sleep but couldn't get comfortable.I told her it was okay if she wanted to stretch out. She sat up, placed the pillow against me and laid back down. We talked for a while more and as we did the conversation became softer as she drifted off into slumber. I sat up watching TV and watching over her. As she slept if she tossed and turned or otherwise seemed to be less at ease I would stroke her head gently as a parent soothes a child until she settled back down.
Friends are few and true friends even fewer, within each other we have both. As I sat watching over her and thinking I realized how much she had to trust me to sit there watch over and comfort her while she slept. I understood that the amount of trust for this was a far greater trust. In a sense I was her security blanket, her guardian of dreams. I also knew that if she trusted me this much then I could expect no less from her had I been the one falling asleep. We were and whether present or not are in a sense each others Dream Catcher.
I myself being an insomniac (as mentioned in a previous blog) sleep very little and have done so for longer than I can remember. In the days preceding this story though I have found myself getting tired more and sleeping longer hours. Within these extra hours of sleep I have reached the dream state, R.E.M. as some of you may know it. These dreams have not been of a pleasant sort and have left me uneasy when I wake. Feeling disorientated and shaken by these dreams I spoke to her. Who else would I turn to after all, but the one who at times knows me better than I know myself? I gave details to the best of my recollection as to the who, what, when and where of each dream as I remembered them.
She's a warm friendly loving person, someone very special, who always will and has been there giving her support. Supportive not only of me but of others also blessed enough to have become a part of her life. She listened to me as I spoke of events I could recollect of my dreams as each invaded my sleep. She listened, tried to help me make sense of them, but mostly she reassured me that they were in fact dreams. She would get me to laugh when I needed to or just listen and let me know she was there. During this process of listening and comforting she would speak of restless nights and the dreams that had interrupted her peaceful sleep. It is this exchange that brings me back to the reason of this blog.
As stated in the beginning we were on the couch watching TV and resting after a good meal. She was starting to drift off into sleep but couldn't get comfortable.I told her it was okay if she wanted to stretch out. She sat up, placed the pillow against me and laid back down. We talked for a while more and as we did the conversation became softer as she drifted off into slumber. I sat up watching TV and watching over her. As she slept if she tossed and turned or otherwise seemed to be less at ease I would stroke her head gently as a parent soothes a child until she settled back down.
Friends are few and true friends even fewer, within each other we have both. As I sat watching over her and thinking I realized how much she had to trust me to sit there watch over and comfort her while she slept. I understood that the amount of trust for this was a far greater trust. In a sense I was her security blanket, her guardian of dreams. I also knew that if she trusted me this much then I could expect no less from her had I been the one falling asleep. We were and whether present or not are in a sense each others Dream Catcher.
Monday, September 7, 2009
A Patriot Under Seige
After many years of laboring, I was laid off at the age of 61. I had, at least the luxury of having accumulated a retirement fund, which, in view of the economic disaster and banking implosion, I decided to cash in my retirement fund and 403b. After receiving the checks, I proceeded to the bank on which they were drawn, and asked to cash them, to which, after many raised eyebrows and bewildered looks, not to mention the impromptu mini-meetings, I was told that they do not keep that much cash on hand but they would order it from their cash warehouse (I suppose), and it would be available in two working days. Don't even get me started on analyzing the implied meaning of "working" at a bank. That's a whole other blog. Anyway, I agreed, understanding how some of the wheels turn in corporate America, and showed up two "working" days later to present my checks for the agreed cash. However, before I could obtain said cash, I would have to provide some personal information, which, again, corporate wheels being as they are, I gave in until it came to my social security number. I questioned why that was necessary and refused to give the number on the grounds that IRS had already sunk their hooks into it to the tune of 20%. The cashier replied that it was only routine and would not be used for any other purpose. I stood my ground, stating that it was MY money that I had worked for lo! these many years and I wanted my cash. She tersely replied that I could take the checks to my bank and deposit them if I didn't want to give my social security number. I replied that it would take 11 - 14 days for the checks to clear and I want immediate access to the cash. She again responded that it was not her rule, and she was just doing her job. I grew increasingly irritated and loudly stated that I am not a terrorist and if we would stop allowing these Muslim extremists into this country we wouldn't even need to have this conversation. A woman in a burka waiting in line spoke up to lament that she was offended by my remark. OOOH, not a good time for that. I loudly replied, "Well excu-u-u-use me, but I'm just a bit offended that the World Trade Center is in rubble and if you are offended then you need to look to your own countrymen for the reason." Whereupon, an elderly man wearing a VFW hat began to clap slowly and loudly. Then another person, then another, then another until there were several voices heard loud and clear. Of course, the bank manager felt the need to call security to quell this uprising, and I was ushered to an interrogation room, whereupon I was notified that I could provide my social security number to the security officer and he would bring me my cash, or they would find probable cause to have me arrested for disturbing the peace (I would have preferred "inciting a riot" just for kicks). However, being one who believes that after a point is well made, discretion is the better part of valor, not to mention I wanted my money now for sure, so I provided my social security number and was presented with my cash. Did I ask for a security escort with my cash? Take a guess.
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