A Patriot Under Seige

After many years of laboring, I was laid off at the age of 61. I had, at least the luxury of having accumulated a retirement fund, which, in view of the economic disaster and banking implosion, I decided to cash in my retirement fund and 403b. After receiving the checks, I proceeded to the bank on which they were drawn, and asked to cash them, to which, after many raised eyebrows and bewildered looks, not to mention the impromptu mini-meetings, I was told that they do not keep that much cash on hand but they would order it from their cash warehouse (I suppose), and it would be available in two working days. Don't even get me started on analyzing the implied meaning of "working" at a bank. That's a whole other blog. Anyway, I agreed, understanding how some of the wheels turn in corporate America, and showed up two "working" days later to present my checks for the agreed cash. However, before I could obtain said cash, I would have to provide some personal information, which, again, corporate wheels being as they are, I gave in until it came to my social security number. I questioned why that was necessary and refused to give the number on the grounds that IRS had already sunk their hooks into it to the tune of 20%. The cashier replied that it was only routine and would not be used for any other purpose. I stood my ground, stating that it was MY money that I had worked for lo! these many years and I wanted my cash. She tersely replied that I could take the checks to my bank and deposit them if I didn't want to give my social security number. I replied that it would take 11 - 14 days for the checks to clear and I want immediate access to the cash. She again responded that it was not her rule, and she was just doing her job. I grew increasingly irritated and loudly stated that I am not a terrorist and if we would stop allowing these Muslim extremists into this country we wouldn't even need to have this conversation. A woman in a burka waiting in line spoke up to lament that she was offended by my remark. OOOH, not a good time for that. I loudly replied, "Well excu-u-u-use me, but I'm just a bit offended that the World Trade Center is in rubble and if you are offended then you need to look to your own countrymen for the reason." Whereupon, an elderly man wearing a VFW hat began to clap slowly and loudly. Then another person, then another, then another until there were several voices heard loud and clear. Of course, the bank manager felt the need to call security to quell this uprising, and I was ushered to an interrogation room, whereupon I was notified that I could provide my social security number to the security officer and he would bring me my cash, or they would find probable cause to have me arrested for disturbing the peace (I would have preferred "inciting a riot" just for kicks). However, being one who believes that after a point is well made, discretion is the better part of valor, not to mention I wanted my money now for sure, so I provided my social security number and was presented with my cash. Did I ask for a security escort with my cash? Take a guess.